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Good Morning,

today I worked from 6-10.

Nothing special.

I was thinking a lot this morning about how down I've been.

in the winter/spring this year, I was having a blast.

I was super confident, stylish, and having a ton of fun.

I felt the best I ever have.

and then the whole situation happened with my old manager and getting fired.

I realized just now that I have never gotten over it.

I also gained 20lb.

I have become so self concious.

I can't leave the house in anything other than loose black clothes that hide my body. no makeup no nails no nothing.

and I feel SO UGLY

which only makes me feel worse.

I want so badly to go back to how I was.

I miss how I felt.

But now I don't really know what to do?

and if I try to even just wear my XIII track suit, I feel so anxious and I have to take it off and change.

since my bffs are moving away, I don't think I'll ever have a reason to go out and dress up either.

what will I do? I just don't know.

well I want to fix it so I took out a bunch of my clothes again and I'm just going to try.

I bought a new self tan today too! I'll blog about it when I use it.

Bye Bye.